I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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