In the future we'll all be gay
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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