I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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