Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You ruined the universe
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
