If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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