would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
