just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
