help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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