I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we made out on top of his cat.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
