White coat. Heels.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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