It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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