My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
