I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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