I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
