So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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