where does the pee come out of this thing
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
