I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
