Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
