I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am available for nakedness
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
