the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
