Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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