I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
