There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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