sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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