we have pet lesbian snakes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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