I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
