PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
