I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
