the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize