So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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