It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
