Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
