There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
