Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
