I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize