you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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