Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
