Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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