I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize