Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
