that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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