i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Everything about him screamed your future.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
