so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
