Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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