i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
