she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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