That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
