talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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