good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
