yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
