He uses pillows to masturbate.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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