You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
