Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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