i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's never too late to be topless.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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