dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize