I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We left an ass print on the piano.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
