Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
