At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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