i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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