dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
