I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
