Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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