Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
