is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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