help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
