He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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