It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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