he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it glows. i had to have it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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