Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
