Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Everything about him screamed your future.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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