I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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