Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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