Welp...herpes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
they're like a gay fantastic four
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
